


All I Want

by jellyfish_kuchen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:51:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfish_kuchen/pseuds/jellyfish_kuchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma waits for his soul mark to appear, longing for it to match his best friend's...... until it happens, and by then it might be too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want

It was a cool spring evening, and Kenma lay on his side on his bedroom floor, facing the television that also sat on the floor as he tapped away at his controller. He had his head propped on a pillow and his eyes locked on the television screen as he maneuvered Sora in his battle against the heartless on screen. He frowned, his hp draining slowly despite his attempts at dodging and rolling away from the onslaught of blows the heartless boss was dishing out. The sound of soft tapping on his bedroom window distracted him long enough to send him to the 'game over' screen.

He sat up with a sigh, looking over at his window to see his friend and neighbor, Kuroo flashing a grin as he tapped on the glass. Kenma vaguely wondered why he didn't just come inside, but remembered that his mother had cleaned his room today and had probably locked the window. He stood up and walked over, unlatching the lock and pushing the window open. 

"Your mom clean your room again?" Kuroo asked as he pulled himself into the room.

"Yeah." Kenma muttered, moving back to his spot on the floor where he picked up his controller and selected the 'try again' option. He immersed himself into fighting the heartless once more as Kuroo laid himself down across Kenma's bed on his stomach to watch him. He selects the buttons necessary for the combo moves, staring at the screen as Sora swings the keyblade and takes out one of the ten or so heartless. 

"That's a lot of enemies." Kuroo commented, leaning his face into his palms. 

"Yeah, but the small ones are easier to fight than the one that's coming." Kenma answered. "I almost beat it before you got here."

"Mm." Kuroo flopped onto his side, watching Kenma as he played the game. "Has your mark appeared yet?" 

"My mark?" Kenma asked, humming softly as he took out some more heartless. He pressed the buttons expertly, taking out several heartless before the larger one appeared.

"You know, your soul mark. I got mine as a first year, did you get yours yet?" Kuroo asked. Kenma paused his game and turned to face his friend, looking at Kuroo's forearm where there was a line of kitten paw prints that walked up his arm and disappeared under his sleeve. He knew that the paw prints stopped on his shoulder blade, as he'd seen the entire mark at several different occasions.

"I haven't." Kenma muttered, frowning. "Just because you got yours at 12, doesn't mean I will. My first year just started, anyway."

"Ah, that's true. I want to see yours though, so you better tell me when you get it." Kuroo grinned, rolling onto his stomach and messing with Kenma's black hair.

"Mm." Kenma hummed in acknowledgement, leaning his head back onto the bed as Kuroo worked his fingers through his hair. "You'll be the first to know. I was the first one you showed your mark to, right?"

"Yeah." Kuroo nodded, picking up some of his hair and braiding it. This was one of Kuroo's new favorite pastimes, Kenma had noticed(not that he minded, it actually felt really nice.) He just sighed comfortably as Kuroo played with his hair.

"Have you met them yet?" Kenma asked. "Your soul mate, I mean."

"I don't think so." Kuroo sighed. "If I did, I think I'd have realized it by this point."

"Hm.. I suppose so." 

 

2 years pass by in the blink of an eye, and Kuroo was already graduating from middle school. The graduation ceremony was tomorrow, and Kenma wished that tomorrow wouldn't come. He laid with his head on Kuroo's lap, tapping away at his DS with the stylus as he played 'The World Ends With You' and lead Neku through the streets of Shinjuku. He paused the game as Kuroo's fingers began to weave through his hair. He closed his game and looked up, locking eyes with his best friend.

"I'm gonna miss you this year." Kuroo said, smiling lightly at him. Kenma could swear he saw the faintest of blushes on Kuroo's skin but elected to ignore it.

"Why? You live right next door. You can see me whenever you want." Kenma sighed, even though he felt the same way. He frowned to himself, he didn't want to be separated from Kuroo.

"Its not the same. I won't be walking to school with you anymore, we won't be eating lunch together. We'll be apart during volleyball practice. It sucks." He sighed and Kenma hummed in acknowledgement. 

"It's not my fault you were born early." Kenma muttered, turning on his side so he faced away from Kuroo, who was still stroking his hair lightly. He didn't want to think about Kuroo leaving him, and felt his cheeks heat up in a blush at that acknowledgement. The two fell into an almost painful silence. One that neither could fix, as it was inevitable.

"Hey.. did your soul mark ever show up?" Kuroo asked eventually, and Kenma felt like he could feel his eyes soften as he looked at the back of his head. As if it would help, Kenma glanced at his forearm to see if he'd somehow gained the same mark as his friend.

"No." Kenma frowned, turning to look up at his best friend who's hand stopped in his hair. Their eyes locked and Kuroo nodded slowly, his fingers slowly beginning to massage his scalp in small circles. Kenma let out a contented sigh, closing his eyes as he leaned into his friend's comfortable touch. "You'll be the first one to see it when it appears." Kenma said softly, and Kuroo let out a soft huff of laughter. 

"I better be." Kuroo teased and Kenma lightly hummed in response. The younger boy simply let himself be comforted by his friend's gentle hand, setting the game to the side and allowing this warmth to lull him to bliss. It was almost enough to let him forget that after tomorrow, Kuroo would be leaving him to go to Nekoma. 

"Kuroo." Kenma said softly, opening his eyes to look up into Kuroo's sharp eyes. Kuroo's hand slowed to a stop in his hair.

"Hm?" 

"Promise you'll still come over like this." Kenma could feel his cheeks heating up in a blush as he said that, and looked away from his friend. 

Kuroo smiled and nods, running his fingers through Kenma's hair soothingly. "I'll be here so much you'll get sick of me." He grinned.

"You better." Kenma muttered, frowning to himself as he was still very aware of the blush on his face. Kuroo laughed and the sound was familiar and warm. It was a welcome distraction from the discomfort that was itching and burning under his skin at the idea of spending so much time away from Kuroo. 

 

It wasn't until the end of his senior year of high school when his mark had started to form. Kenma had retired from the volleyball club already, and he'd basically resolved that maybe he'd never get his mark, and that maybe he didn't have a soul mate. And he was mostly okay with it. Other than Kuroo, he'd never wanted someone to give him physical attention. He figured, eventually, that this was because they were best friends.

He was wrong. The marks started to form in the middle of February. At first, he'd thought he'd gotten bruised, but as the days went on, the dark bruise-like spots started to take the form of little paw prints. By the beginning of March, his mark was identical to the one he'd seen so many times though the course of his life that there was no doubt who he matched with. Luckily, it was March so he'd been able to hide them from his parents and the students at school. He wanted to keep it private that his matched his best friend, who was currently in university on the other side of Tokyo. His best friend who was dating a girl on his university's women's volleyball team. And, to make matters worse, that was the university that he'd soon be attending in April. 

After thinking about it long and hard, Kenma decided not to tell him at all. He didn't want to get in the way of Kuroo's happiness with that girl who's name he couldn't (and didn't want to) remember. It was now painfully obvious that he'd been in love with Kuroo since they were children, but he'd lost his chance, it seemed. Kuroo was happy without him.

He poured his attention into studying for his final exams, even though he knew he'd probably have no problem passing. He probably could have graduated early if he had the ambition to do so. He scribbled equations and formulas down as he worked through practice math problems when he heard the familiar, yet recently less frequent 'tap tap tap' of fingertips on his window. He looked up, seeing the familiar grin of his best friend and for the first time he hesitated before getting up to open the window.

He glanced at his arm to make sure his sleeve covered his mark as he opened the window. "Yo, Kenma." Kuroo grinned at him as he pulled himself into the room, carrying a small paper bag. "Excited to see me? You haven't seen me since New Year, after all."

"Yeah. It's been a while." Kenma said softly, looking at the floor.

"Doing some studying?" Kuroo asked as he flopped himself onto Kenma's bed. 

"Yeah. I have finals soon." Kenma replied awkwardly before going back to his desk.

"Oh this is for you." Kuroo said, holding the white paper bag out to Kenma. "I never got a chance to congratulate you on getting into University." 

Kenma eyed Kuroo's grin warily. "There's nothing illegal in here, is there?"

Kuroo simply shrugs. "Take it. Its a present."

"Should I be concerned?" Kenma asked as he took the bag. 

"Shut up and open it. You're gonna love it." Kuroo rolled his eyes with a chuckle. 

Kenma sighed, opening the bag and looking inside. Inside was a tiny personal-sized pie in a plastic cover. He picked it up and it was just about the size of his palm. "Apple pie?" Kenma asked, feeling the slightest of smiles pull at his lips. 

Kuroo nodded and sat up. "There's a fork in the bag too." 

"Thanks, Kuroo." He sat down and opened the pie and the smell of cinnamon and apples wafted up into the air. He picked up the plastic fork from the bag and picked at the crust with the fork until it flaked up and he stabbed it and ate it with a hum.

"Kana recommended that bakery, it's close to campus and they're the only one I know of that makes cup-pies." Kuroo said with a gentle smile. "I'll have to thank her."

Kenma looked at the pie at the mention of the girl's name and felt a frown threaten to pull his lips downward. He shoved another forkful of the pie into his mouth and hummed noncommitally. The pie suddenly didn't taste so good and he wanted to spit it out, but he kept eating. He couldn't let his own bitterness affect Kuroo's happiness, he told himself.

"You ok?" Kuroo asked, and Kenma should have known better than to think he could hide his emotions from Kuroo since he's been able to read him for as long as he could remember. 

"I'm fine." He said softly, taking another bite of the pie, even if the taste was getting more bitter by the second.

"I think.." Kuroo said as he reached for the desk chair and pulled it so Kenma rolled from the desk to the edge of his bed. "That you've been working too hard." Kuroo grinned up at Kenma, and the younger boy adverted his eyes. 

"...maybe." Kenma muttered softly. He could feel his mark get pleasantly warm, and vaguely wondered if Kuroo's felt the same way as he felt Kuroo take his hand.

"Come here." Kuroo said softly, tugging Kenma's hand until he got out of the chair and sat between Kuroo's legs, leaning onto his chest. Kuroo let out a soft sigh, starting to mess with Kenma's died blonde hair in his fingers. "Its starting to get kinda long.." 

"Yeah. I think I'll let it grow a bit more." Kenma sighed, feeling the warmth spread through his entire body. 'So this is what it means to be soul mates.' He thought, feeling a blush rise onto his cheeks. 

They fell into a comfortable, but painful silence. Kenma felt like he had a responsibility to tell Kuroo about his mark every time he saw the paw prints peeking out from under Kuroo's sleeve, even if the words got lost somewhere between his mind and his throat. Why did he have to match with Kuroo? Why couldn't he just not have a soul mate? Nobody ever mentions the painful part, they only tell you about how wonderful it is knowing who you're supposed to be with. Who the universe picked for you.

"I need to go, I have a class in the morning so I need to get to the station before the train leaves." Kuroo said softly, much to Kenma's disappointment. 

"Okay." Kenma muttered, agreeing even if he made no move to get up.

"Come on, Kenma. Get up." Kuroo laughed, even bringing a light smile to Kenma's lips as he sat up. "I'll come back to help you move into your dorm." Kuroo said, petting Kenma's hair softly.

"Thanks." Kenma said softly, nodding his head to his friend and watching as he got up and left out the window, like a ghost in the night. Kenma frowned once his friend was gone and got up to shut the window before he shot the pie a dirty look. It still sat on his desk, half eaten and fork stabbed through it's crust. It would have been delicious, but he knew that girl had something to do with it so he wanted nothing to do with it. It was like Kuroo, he supposed, bitter-sweet because she was involved.

It isn't like him to be petty or jealous. So to be jealous over a woman he didn't even know was even more out of character. She must be beautiful. She has to be funny, cute, and all those things that Kenma wasn't. Moreover, she's a woman. He couldn't compete with a woman, he knew that much, especially for a man's affections.

He walked back to the desk to throw the apple pie into the trash can before flopping backwards onto his bed. He could almost feel Kuroo's body heat against his back, and rolled his sleeve up to look at the mark. He scowled at the stupid thing that connected him to the one person he could not have. He hated it. It should have come earlier, it should have showed up so he could be the one that's making Kuroo happy. 

 

April came quickly, and Kenma was now in the same college as Kuroo, moving into his dorm room. Kuroo helped him carry his things in and get his side of the room straightened up. Kenma was making his bed as Kuroo was setting up his desk. As he picked up a box, Kenma found himself watching the mark on his forearm as lean muscles flexed beneath his skin. He quickly shook his head and set to finishing his task before moving to another one.

Kuroo's eyes fell to him, time and time again. Kenma pretended not to notice, and concentrated on the room to keep from looking at him. Eventually Kuroo spoke, shattering the silence between them.

"You're strangely motivated today." He said, in a way that make Kenma wonder if he knew about the mark under his sleeve.

"Am I?" Kenma muttered.

"Yeah, are you feeling ok?" Kuroo asked, walking over to where Kenma was, hanging up clothes in his closet. As Kuroo approached him, he felt an almost painful burn on his arm. He let out a shaky breath and ignored his friend as well as he could, until Kuroo's hand fell onto his shoulder, sending a soft surge of electricity through his nerves. 

"I'm fine." Kenma said softly, his hands shaking a bit as he attempted to put a shirt onto a hanger. His body was betraying him; his heart pounding hard, his voice reduced to a whisper, and a painful yet comfortable warmth spidering out through his veins like a drug. 

"The fuck?" Kuroo muttered, pulling his hand back like he'd been burned, leaving Kenma feeling even more lonely than before. It was as if all the warmth suddenly turned to ice, making it difficult to breathe. Before he could stop it, tears were falling down his face and he choked on all the feelings he couldn't voice. "Kenma, shit.. what's going on?" Kuroo took him by the shoulders and turned him so he faced him, his sharp eyes searching for something, anything that could give him an explanation.

Then they stopped. Locking on the small dark spot peeking out from under the collar of Kenma's shirt. He could tell he saw it. The way his eyes widened said it all. He pushed aside the fabric, revealing a pawprint, identical to one Kuroo had on his own body.

"Kenma.." He breathed, looking into Kenma's tear-filled eyes. "Show me?"

"Okay.." Kenma whispered, pulling away from him and turning his back to his friend. He couldn't see his reaction this way. He pulled his shirt off over his head and cast his eyes to the floor. 

"My God.." Kuroo said lowly, and Kenma could feel his eyes on him. He couldn't force himself to look back at him. This was it. This would be the end of their friendship, and that realization made his legs weak and a fresh bout of tears slip past his eyes. He wiped his eyes and wheezed as he fought to breathe. Kuroo would never speak to him again after this.

Then, all the sorrow and pain and fear melted away in a single moment, when arms wrapped around him and pulled him to his friend's chest. He blinked, wide-eyed and blushed darkly when he felt the brush of Kuroo's lips on his shoulder. He squirmed, trying to get out of his hold.

"What are you doing?" Kenma asked, still fighting against Kuroo's vice-like grip.

"We match, Kenma." Kuroo laughed, tightening his hold until Kenma could no longer move. "We match!"

"You have a girlfriend!!" Kenma yelled, silencing his friend's laughter.

"About that.." Kuroo sighed, loosening his hold just a little. "I'm not dating Kana anymore."

"Why not?" Kenma asked, turning to face him. "I thought you really liked her."

"Well, I did." Kuroo nodded. "But as it turns out, she was using me."

"For what?" Kenma asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What do you have that she'd use you for?"

"My Y chromosome." His friend sighed, and Kenma didn't quite follow what he meant by that. He blinked blankly up at Kuroo, who laughed and shook his head at his confusion. "She's a lesbian, Kenma."

Kenma's eyes widened and he frowned. "So I've been worrying about nothing?" He asked incredulously.

"No, not nothing.." Kuroo hummed and leaned his forehead against Kenma's. "You've been hiding this for a while, haven't you? You were worried about me."

He looked down with a pout, pulling back a little and mumbling under his breath. "You're so embarrassing."

"Am I?" Kuroo teased, his lips pressing very softly to Kenma's cheekbone.

Avoiding looking at his friend's face didn't help to calm the heavy beating of his heart, not that he expected it to, not really. Kuroo's hands clasped together at the small of Kenma's back, pulling him further into his familiar warmth. It was as if he were wrapped in soft blankets; comfortable and safe. Eventually he relaxed and allowed himself to lean into Kuroo's chest as one of Kuroo's hands moved to run through his hair. 

"I somehow always knew it would be you." Kuroo hummed lowly into his ear and ran his other hand up and down the length of Kenma's spine. He shivered at the contact and slid his hands up to rest on Kuroo's shoulders. His mark warmed comfortably when he felt his friend's lips pressed against his shoulder, peppering kisses on the marks he could reach. 

Kenma sighed and hummed softly at the sensation, shyly reaching upward to run his fingers through Kuroo's messy hair. "Is that so?"

"Yeah.." He answered with a nod, before pulling back to stand over him. Kenma couldn't remember feeling quite this vulnerable with Kuroo before, though it was probably because he was half naked. Well, that and Kuroo was looking at him with some strange intensity that he only used to see when they were on the volleyball court. "Say, Kenma..?"

"Yes?" Kenma tried to say, though his voice didn't reach his ears. 

Kuroo seemed to understand him even without his voice functioning properly, and smiled lightly before he spoke. "May I?" He asked, his large hand cupping his cheek as he stroked his thumb over Kenma's lips. 

Blushing, the shorter man nodded and felt as Kuroo's large hand tipped his chin upward. Closing his eyes so he wouldn't be as embarrassed, Kenma felt the soft brush of lips on his own, retreating only a second later. The shortness of the kiss surprised him, and he blinked up at Kuroo who rubbed his neck nervously.

"Kuroo?" Kenma spoke up worriedly. 

"Sorry.." Kuroo muttered.

"Did I do something wrong?" Kenma asked.

"It's not that.." The taller man said softly with a sigh, shaking his head. 

"Then what's wrong?" Kenma asked, a ball of worry settling in the pit of his stomach and making him feel almost nauseous.

"Look, I just.." Kuroo averted his gaze with a troubled expression. "I don't want to mess this up, you know? Now that I know you're.. What if I fuck it all up? I'd lose my best friend.. I don't want that."

Kenma swallowed, feeling his face flush. "Kuroo," he started, not sure what he should say next. Kuroo was a the one that was good with people; he wasn't sure how to say what he meant. "You won't.. stupid." He muttered, frowning.

However, Kuroo seemed to get the point and smiled in a way that would have looked incredibly perverse if it hadn't been Kuroo. Kenma looked down, pretty sure that his entire face was bright red and attempting to hide himself behind his hair. His best friend wouldn't let him hide though, and cupped his cheeks in both large hands. A gentle warmth swam through his veins like a drug, and he allowed himself to look up at the man before him: his soul mate. 

"Good to know," Kuroo said lowly, closing the distance between them with a slow kiss. Kenma felt like he was melting, and held onto Kuroo's shoulders to keep himself up. For the first time in a long time, being together with Kuroo didn't come with a bitter aftertaste. It was sweet, it warm, it was all he'd ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not good at angsting lol


End file.
